Visiting when travelling

A colleague posted on Facebook last night, a piece on how a visitor from a ‘first world’ country had stayed with her and her family, didn’t engage with them, never said thank you, and left their home without saying goodbye.  Downright rude, me thinks.

One of the great things I love about travel is meeting people from other places, not only fellow travelers, but those local to the places I visit.  Occasionally I have been privileged and invited in to their homes.  For nine years I have been teaching in Singapore and Hong Kong.  The friends I have made there are wonderful and always happy to see me, as I am happy to see them.  Twice in Singapore I have been invited in to a home. While this may not seem as frequent as here in Australia, the cultures are different and home entertainment of guests is not as common as here.  Each of these occasions was dissimilar. One was a feast after Ramadan and the other to a Singaporean Indian parent’s home.  Both were wonderful experiences and I am happy to have them as my friends.  Others have made the effort and shared coffees, meals or beers that have been fun and enjoyable moments in my traveling journey.

This brings me to my recent trip to Cebu in the Philippines.  In my previous blog I mentioned that I was invited to the parents’ home of my colleague.  Having moved through the general area where the family lived I had a basic understanding of the style of home they owned.  Again, I cannot, nor should I, compare this with Australia, it is different.  In the part of the Philippines (at least) it is not normal for each house to have a road frontage,.  Each residence is connected to the main road via a network of pathways.  Whilst the homes are of a good size, the surrounding property is limited in area.  That is, no extensive gardens or outdoor areas other than for cooking.

This time the taxi ride, from The Henry Hotel, out past the international airport on Mactan Island, was quicker as the traffic, whilst still heavy, flowed easily.  It was dark and street lighting was minimal.  When I arrived I was formally met by the family.  And I mean the whole family, grandparents, older aunt, parents, children and grand children.  Thirteen adults and five children.  The formality was special.  Age is held in high esteem here and the younger family members not only greeted me politely, but in the formal custom of the Philippines brought my hand to their forehead as a mark of respect.  Conversation was polite and as people relaxed the formality slipped away a little and the family interaction became evident.

Conversation with the younger members was easy as their English was excellent.  Remember I was the one lacking here, I speak one language, they all speak at least three.   Even the youngest, Liam, a four-year old, understood at least two languages.  Their home was warm, inviting and happy.  All family members interacted and the conversations flowed.  They were interested in what I normally ate at home, if rice was a staple part of my diet and similar basic living experiences. I did not see a fridge and from the discussions around food and cooking I gathered that food purchasing and cooking was undertaken on a meal-by-meal basis.

Like many Australian homes the kids love computer games .  However, the whole family looked on and enjoyed the skill of the game.  Angel, a beautiful seven-year-old, loved colouring and her book from school depicted her artistic talents.  I was touched by the obvious love between the generations, no matter their ages.

Life is tough in the Philippines.  Often the working hours are long, up to nine hours a day and six days a week.  On average the take home pay is about P6,000 per month (that is with a university degree), which equates to less than A$3,000 per year.  Sure the cost of living is less, but try buying a car ,or an iPhone on that amount of income.  Forget overseas holidays, or weekends in the numerous resorts dotted around the islands.

My evening with this wonderful family was enjoyable, friendly and for me special.  They opened up their home, showed genuine friendship and made me feel welcome.  I thank them. On leaving, we walked back along the path and waited on the road for a pedal-trike to come past.  There were three of us.  Cathy, my colleague, Lorraine, her married sister and myself.  Lorraine is the mother of Angel and works night shift in an accounting call centre. We required two trikes and about five minutes later we met up at the main road and took a taxi back into the downtown area of Cebu city.  Lorraine had about twenty minutes before she had to be in the office so we ate a light meal in a local cafe/restaurant.  By the time my head hit the pillow, I was tired, it had been a long day, but complete with memorable experiences.

Cathy and her son Liam (4 years)

Cathy and her son Liam (4 years), Mactan Island, Cebu, July 2015.

Where are they now?

I posted an extract of this on the Adelaide Remember When FB page earlier today. Fifty years ago this month (April 1965) 92 teenage boys were presented the Queen’s Scout award by the then Governor Sir Edric Bastyan.  On April 3 (1965) the Queen’s Scout dinner was held at the Top of the Town Restaurant, in Cox Foys, Rundle Street, Adelaide. Back in the ’60s Adelaide did not have many restaurants, especially ones that could cater for a hundred or more guests.  Also the liquor licensing laws were significantly different to those of today (2015), and the legal drinking age was still 21 years of age – so that excluded a hotel venue. In fifty years my detailed memory of the evening has dimmed somewhat.  However, I recall being a little over-whelmed by the occasion – I was 17.  My father had driven me into the city as the event was seen as a significant ocassion by my family.  I caught the bus home afterwards.  The Chief Commissioner (for Scouts) was Henry Rymill, CBE. The 1965 Queen's Scout presentation dinner menu The program for the evening’s events included the Loyal Toast List to Her Majesty The Queen, and a toast to the 1965 Queen’s Scouts.  The response to the Queen’s Scouts Toast was given by Peter Balan, who has since become a successful academic at UniSA.  I remember the film called: ‘The Senior Way’ being screened, but I have no recollection of what it contained other than it showed many images of Scouts doing scouting ‘stuff’. The Queen’s Scout Award is an achievement from my teenage years of which I am still proud and pleased to to include in my resume.  However, what has happened to the other 90 eager young boys – the stories of their lives, their children and grand children?

Presentation of Queen's Scout Award to David Sweet, Government House, Adelaide by the then Governor, Sir Edric Bastyan. (April 1965)

Presentation of Queen’s Scout Award to David Sweet, Government House, Adelaide by the then Governor, Sir Edric Bastyan. (April 1965)

Howard Hamon is the brother-in-law of my mate’s sister (a small world) David Jansen and I went to Glen Osmond Primary School together, but I lost touch with him many years ago, David Rattray (if he is the same person) and I were at Unley High and a number of other names from the ‘Menu’ may have been police officers. Is your name or the name of someone you know on the back of the menu (above)?  Maybe through my blog and Adelaide Remember When. the question can be answered.?

Good friends are forever

I have just experienced one of those joyous moments when a friendship is revitalised.

All too often I have sat on the sidelines and thought: “why hasn’t ‘so and so’ been in touch?”   Maybe the better question to ask myself would have been: “why haven’t I contacted them?”  People drift apart for numerous reasons – lack of time, new partnerships formed, moving, changing jobs – but it is never because we have just forgotten.  Lazy or not getting around to it may be the reason, but not an excuse.

Singapore, Chinese Bonsai GardensAt our fingertips we have the technology to contact someone at any time, yet who are our friends?  How many people on FaceBook, Twitter or any other social media outlet are your true friends?  Social butterflies, professional contacts, friends of friends, or even worse, online game friends, but who, if any would hold your hand, hug you, buy you a coffee (or a single malt Scotch) and listen without judging?

Yesterday afternoon I took a punt and sent off a text message to a beautiful friend whom I had only one contact with in the past six years.  A few hours later I received a reply.  I was wrapped.  We then ‘chatted’ for well over an hour and caught up on some of our respective experiences during our ‘time apart’.   So much has happened.  Have we changed?  Of course we have, and that is also wonderful to discover.  Are we still friends?  Yes.  Better, stronger and closer than before I expect.

So whether it is your best friend forever from school – whom you haven’t spoken with in ten years – a former work colleague with whom you shared special times, someone from your football or netball team, even a cousin, aunt, uncle or neighbour, just make the effort.  I guarantee that you will feel excited, and they will have a special surprise in their day.  If you get dumped on, well maybe they weren’t your friend in the first place – but you have made the effort.

Life is too short to lose a friend.

Thanks my SLaSH.

The smells of summer

Brighton UK the English heatwave was only 28C

Brighton UK the English heatwave was only 28C

Yes it has been hot today – about 38C (100F for the peeps who are not metric). This morning it was nice and relaxing, sitting at the Uni cafe, marking and reading assignments. Then I wandered inside to our regular three weekly PhD reading group. That was enjoyable as always. A coffee afterwards and a non-academic chat went well also. This was followed by a 30 minute chat with a good student over her assignments and career directions.
Then I went outside and was hit with the very dry heat of an Adelaidian afternoon in summer. Walking through the stands of big river red gums and other native bush to get to my air conditioned car I was surrounded by the heady aromas of eucalypt and flowering bottle brush, some wattle and melaleuca flowers as well. Makes one happy to be is such beautiful surroundings.

Have a fun weekend – I intend to.